5 ways on how to spot a true "Frenemy"

5 ways on how to spot a true "Frenemy"


Know that boy/girl you can’t stand, but have to deal with since he/she is part of your friend group? Yeah, he/she is your “frenemy”. And also, have you ever have a friend whose comment, while it might seem totally harmless, ends up hurting your feelings? And even though what she said may not seem like a big deal, it leaves you wondering why you are feeling so upset over it. If this sounds a little too familiar with you, then you might have that kind of “frenemy” on your hand’s palm. To help you out with this kind of trouble, we will help you to figure out your true “Frenemy”.



  1. This catchy phrase “You think that’s bad? Listen to what happened to me.”


If your “that one” friend would rather talk about her problems when you are coming to her with an issue, then she is probably not a true best friend. Maybe, next time, if there is a crisis or trouble happening in your life, you might want to turn to someone else to listen to your story, because “that one” friend of yours is just a general type of “frenemy”.



  1. “How could you let that happen?” He/she said.


While you might be looking for a chance to vent to your bestie, a comment like this makes you feel like it is all your fault. And though you might be to blame, pointing out fault is totally not helpful. If you are trying to talk about something serious and this is the response you get, it is time to “kick” your “true frenemy” to the curb. Trust me, there is no use of having a friend who does not support you. Well, actually we can call “that one” of your friend an enemy, or “frenemy”, or whatever you want to call him/her. True story.



  1. “You’re my only [black/gay/etc] friend!” He/she said. Well said…well done.


It might seem like a simple observation, but in the end, this kind of “super transparent adjective comment” just comes off as “I only see the value on your human-being only for the fact that you’re [black/gay/etc].” You must think that he/she is very…very not cool. Then you must tell him/her how it makes you feel offended and why what he/she is saying is not appropriate at all.



  1. “Wow, I could never eat that.”


If you are not digging in on a pile of literal trash for lunch, then saying something like this is just straightly rude. Call him/her out on what he/she has said. Everyone has different tastes, I know, but at least, that does not mean “that one” friend has to be disrespectful to you, or your meal also. It is just sad, too sad.

Why you gotta be so rude? Don't you know I'm human too? Why you gotta be so rude? I'm gonna eat that anyway. Well done.



  1. “People only like you because you’re [this] and [that]...” That’s it. You are out.


A comment like this might mean she is envy of you and does not want to admit that you are succeeding because you are good at something that you do. Jealous is a basic characteristic of people nowadays, however, if you have “frenemy” that just cannot suppress that feeling and let it be the barrier of the friendship, then it is better to just let him/her go. While confronting her and do it the hard way to solve the trouble, if you know what I am talking about, then it could be time to call this friendship “game over!”.



Name: Calvin Karunia Wijaya

Bachelor In Business Administration in International Business, Nilai University. 

E-mail: pakr_calvin@yahoo.co.id

Source: Girls Life Magazine (Mallory Walker), 2015.