How to rebuild your parents trust after you have lost it

How to rebuild your parents trust after you have lost it

I think you've dealt with a serious issue with your parents and broken the rules in a “major” way. Your parents are so mad at you and tell you that you have lost their trust in you. Then, you were grounded and they were being super strict until they can trust you again. Now what? What we must do, as their children, to gain that trust back?

Let’s face it with a cool head; it was totally normal to have misunderstanding with our parents, especially as we grew up and became adult and also demanded more freedom. However, we still live under our parent’s “roof”, which means that we must follow our parent’s ground and basic rules. And if you break those “major” rules, the consequences can be tough and hard. Here are the tips that you need to express to your parents, which give out many reasons that you deserve their trust, again...



  1. Pinpoint the problem.


One of the most important parts of gaining your parents trust back is a well-understanding on what you’ve done. So, before you work to gain back their trust, point out the reasons why they have lost trust on you. Maybe, did you stay out past curfew? In some cases, they are probably upset because you did not respect their rules or maybe they were worried about your safety. Understanding these reasons might help you to realize what you need to do in order to gain back your parent’s trust.



  1. Show a little respect.


If you have not apologized to your parents about what happened, now it would be the time to do so, because, maybe an apology might not solve everything, but it will certainly show your parents that you respect them so much. Make sure to be polite and listen to what they have to say, they are “older” after all. After that, this situation would be a good time to express how you feel about the problems, however, a piece of advice, you must not lose your temper either. If you lost it, then the “war” will never be over and you add more oil to the “never-ending flame”.



  1. Follow the rules.


This might be a tough one, but an important aspect of gaining your parents trust is by following their “major” rules. Actually, you must follow all of their rules, including the ones you think are quite silly. By doing this, you are showing your parents about how much you respect the rules that they have established and settled. In way with showing respect for them, it will help your parents to understand your condition and start to respect you. And once respect is recognized, then trust is not far behind it, you just wait for the time to “cure” their hearts.



  1. Give it some time.           


Even if you have spent weeks being the perfect child, rebuilding trust takes time, trust me. Things will not change in the blink of an eye, especially if you have done something that is so deeply hurt your parents’ hearts. If you’ve been at it for months, talk to your parents about the problem. Ask them what more you need to do to regain their trust. Just straight to the point, and maybe, it could be that simple.



Name: Calvin Karunia Wijaya

Bachelor In Business Administration in International Business, Nilai University. 


Source: Girls Life Magazine (Mallory Walker), 2015.